Divorce is hard. Going through a breakup can be devastating, whether the split was something that you wanted or an unexpected surprise. You need support while you’re juggling logistics, finances, and emotions. But some people don’t know how to respond to someone who is going through a divorce. Here are three things that you should never say to someone dealing with a divorce, including constructive ways to respond.
"Half of All Marriages End in Divorce"
Most people are well aware of the statistics surrounding marriage and divorce. Knowing that you’re part of the divorce statistic will not make you feel better about your decision. You likely had high hopes for your marriage. If someone says this to you, you can reply by saying, “I understand that, but I worked hard on this relationship and am upset that it’s ending.”
"I Never Liked Your Spouse Anyway"
Your friends and loved ones want to support you through this difficult time. Some may mention the distaste that they have for your spouse in an effort to create a feeling of solidarity. But it’s not always helpful to hear that your friends may have been silently rooting for the marriage to end. Moreover, this statement can damage relationships with your loved ones if you do reconcile with your spouse.
If someone comments in this manner, you can let them know that you need to be surrounded by positive energy right now and don’t want to rehash all of your ex’s flaws.
"There Are Other Fish In the Sea"
Someone who is going through a divorce needs time to grieve. They are likely not looking for other relationships at the moment. Hearing that there are other people out there who might be perfect for them can be overwhelming.
If you’re going through a divorce and someone says this to you, you could reply by saying, “I know that I will move on, but for now, I’d like to sort out my feelings surrounding the divorce.”
What You Should Say to Someone Going Through a Divorce
One of the best things that someone can say to you if you’re dealing with a marital split is, “I hope that this works out exactly the way that you want it to. I’m here for you.” This allows the person who is going through the divorce to feel comfortable expressing their feelings. It doesn’t put expectations or constraints on their grieving process.
Being able to hold space without spewing your opinions on the subject shows that you’ll be there for your friend no matter what they need.
If you’re going through a divorce and need additional support, call The Law Offices of Jonny Kousa, P.L. at (954) 626-8071 for more information.